Seasoned To Perfection
by Nopeinator
Summary: Who is the Fish Roe Man really? He cannot be that important...? Can he? There may be more to this peculiar fish than meets the eye, read on to see why...


**A/N: Hi everybody, me, SilverSockFox and Jetta Vroom Vroom are in a collaborative effort to produce a whole bunch of short stories on mother enemies and such. If you've seen Rock and Roll (Spicy) and Artistic know nothings already then you'll know what we are getting at. These two stories will be reuploaded later into one massive collab story. Along with this one right here... Okay see ya everyone and enjoy the backstory of Fish Roe Man**

Seasoned To Perfection

I never knew this would happen... I was innocent, I had nothing to do with this. I was just an average guy, living in the village of Tazmily. Actually, no one actually knew who I was. I technically didn't exist. I closed myself off because I was way too shy. But then one day that boy came by. A small boy who wore a little yellow and red striped T-shirt with little blue shorts. I was bathing in the Murasaki Forest's hot spring when he came by, I didn't even know what to say. The small boy decided to break the ice and said "Hello mister, my name's Lucas." I tilted my head at the little boy, who was now smiling sweetly. "Oh- um... Hello..." I stammered. I had barely ever spoken to anyone. The little boy asked politely "So what are you doing?" I only replied with "Oh... I'm j-just soaking u-up the w-water." The little boy could sense that I never really got out that much. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a little sunflower. "I know you're shy." He said. "Here, whenever my mom meets new people, she gives them a sunflower." I looked at the sunflower, then back at the boy. No one had ever offered me anything before... I hesitated before reaching out and taking the flower. "T-thank you." I stuttered. The boy... No... Lucas, nodded before walking off. He then turned around and said. "I'll see you again sometime... friend."

"Friend... Lucas..." That word and that name were now in my head. And that's where they would remain... Forever.

Me and Lucas kept on meeting at the hot spring every day from then on, until one day the kid told me he had to go to his granddad's house. I was disappointed a little but I knew that, no matter how close we were as friends, family always comes first. I had a family... But they were lost at the fleeing of the old world. I really wouldn't like to talk about it, it was too painful. Two days later, which I knew was the day Lucas would come back, I decided to go to his grandfather's house through the Sunshine Forest. I was minding my own business when I suddenly saw what seemed to be a guy with a mask on his face shaped like a pig... He threw a shiny round thing onto the ground. He then ran away in fear, I laughed at the stupidity of the man. I then walked over to the shiny thing to see what all the fuss was about. My face dropped when I recognized it. It was a bomb, a bomb is an explosive device that causes destruction and death on a large scale. I had not seen one of these since being in the old world. I tried to run away after I heard the bomb beep. "Oh shi-" was the last thing I uttered before I was blasted into a tree at top speed. I began to lose consciousness as two pig like figures stood over me.

I woke up in what looked like an operating theatre, strapped to a table. "Whe- where am I?" I shouted angrily in confusion. "Why am I buckled down? Why can't I move?" Yet another pig-like figure appeared over me. Except this one was different. He wore green clothes instead of pink like everyone else. "Good to see you've woken up." It said. "Guess what, you get to be our first human chimera." I stared blankly at the man. "What the heck is a chimera?" I spat, my cheeks red with anger. The green pig-masked thingy then shoved an English dictionary straight into my face. He pointed to a certain word beginning with a 'C'. "Read." The pig-masked thingy asked. I started to read. "Cancer, a disease that can be caused b-." "NOT THAT YOU FOOL!" The pig-thing shouted. "THAT ONE!" I slit my eyes and started to read again. "Creature, another way to describe a member of a certain speci-." I was interrupted by the facepalming of the masked person. "LOOK! I don't have time for this, a chimera is the combination of two things, usually living creatures." He sighed angrily. "Well... What are you gonna pair me with...?" I asked while trembling in fear. Suddenly a blue pig masked thing came into the room. "Sir. Your fish roe is ready, salted and seasoned to perfection." It said. The green masked thingy looked at his dinner then turned back to me. "We are going to combine you with fish roe..." He said icily. "Wait... NO!" I tried to protest. But I was already hit with the sharp pain of a needle filled with anaesthetic. Then they started to operate on me while I was awake. But due to the pain-killer, it didn't hurt. "Okay." Said a doctor that was working on combining me. "Put on the sleepy gas on." Suddenly, a mask was clamped onto my face and I started to fall asleep.

I suddenly jolted awake, sweat dripping from all pores. I checked my arms and legs, both of which were completely fine. "Was it all a dream?" I thought to myself. I then looked around to see fish staring at me from all angles. "That's just NASTY!" One of them spat bitterly. I looked at my body and I gasped in shock. My body, sure enough, had been combined with the salty goodness of fish roe. I then finally noticed I was underwater, however, I could breath fine. I was practically a fish now. All the other fish just kept making nasty remarks, one of them even vomited at the sight of me. Then I just remembered. Fish Roe is a dish that's made from the egg pouch of a female fish, a bit like caviar. I was the Fish Roe Man... I am made out of the insides of a female fish. All the fish swam away but one. Who just made a dirty joke about eggs that I didn't really get, then swam away. I was alone... again. Except this time, it was worse. I didn't have any friends, not because I chose not to have any, but because I was an abomination. A freak of nature. And the worst thing was that the one thing I really wanted was a friend, to comfort me after I just went through. But it seemed I had none, no one wanted to even get to see who I really was. I tried to jump out of the water, but since I'm a fish now I can't go out of water... I almost suffocated to death on the oxygen. There was nothing I could do... I had to stay down here, until the day I die...

I decided to explore the ocean landscape, ignoring all the shouts of 'egg man' or 'baby carrier' or other lame comments I'd get from fish who just wanted to make fun of others that are less fortunate than them. They don't understand any of the crap I'd been through. I eventually came across this hermit crab, except it was missing its shell, and it looked like a purple lobster was juggling what I presumed to be the hermit crab's shell. I decided to try and stop it. "Hey!" I shouted to the lobster. It stopped juggling and turned around. "Oh look, It's Mr egg." The lobster snickered. "Give the shell back..." I growled angrily." The lobster then adopted a look of hostility on its face. "Or what?" It said icily. I then decided to take the lobster by surprise. I ran toward it but then the lobster just smacked me aside with one of its pincers. "Be careful with those eggs, don't wanna make them infertile." It said. I got angry and charged again. It tried to hit me with its pincer again, I knew he was going to try and do that. So I jumped out of the way and then focused power into my hand. I had never felt this sensation before, but I decided to go with it. The lobster then charged toward me at an awesome speed. That was then when I unleashed my power into one almighty punch. "FISH ROE PUNCH!" I screamed as I hit the lobster straight on in its head. The crunching sound that indicated my success was pleasurable to my ears. The lobster was sent flying back until he hit a coral reef. I picked up the hermit crab's shell and gave it back to him. "Thank you so much. I-." The creature was interrupted by an angry lobster charging towards me in a serpentine motion. I felt the sensation again, this time in my legs. I timed the perfect moment to unleash my fury. "FISH ROE KICK" I shouted as I kicked the lobster in the spine this time. The lobster fell to the ground instantly, I suddenly realized I'd broken the lobster's spinal cord, paralyzing him from the (waist?) down. The hermit crab stared at me as if I was his hero. I started to walk away when he stopped me. "Wait!" He cried. "I have to give you a reward. Follow me..."

I decided to follow the crab after a bit of persuasion from the little fella. He led me to a secret cave where there stood a single ribboned box. The hermit crab told me to open the box and take what was inside. After I opened the box I stood back in shock, amazed at what was in there. It was a crown, not just any crown. It looked really awesome, It was an awesome crown. I closed the box, turned to the hermit crab and said "I-I can't take this, It's really valuable. People will try and steal this." The hermit crab laughed at my statement. "What are you gonna do? Guard it?" He chuckled. "Yes." I sighed. The hermit crab stopped laughing and said. "Um... okay then, if that's what you want. But I think you should go and mingle with the fish, who knows? You might make some friends." He then left the cave, and I never saw him again. I then remembered the word 'friend.' And I knew that I had a friend before... I just couldn't put my finger on it. So I decided to write a note to whoever opened the box, me just hoping it will be my friend. I stayed up all night writing that letter and I placed it in the box of the awesome crown... And I never dared to open it again...

Three years later I kept true to the promise I made the hermit crab. I fought off everything and everyone that tried to steal the awesome crown. I even had a little pose I did while fighting my enemy's, it was a little Elvis pose I imitated. That became my battle pose for every battle I had. When I fought fish I just beat the life out of them, and when I fought scuba divers I punctured holes in their oxygen tanks with a fish roe punch and watch them drown before me. But then one day a kid and his friends suddenly appeared before me, he also seemed to have a dog. There were two weird things about this, one: they weren't scuba divers, they were just holding their breath. They wouldn't even stand a chance against me if I held them off long enough. And two: The kid in the yellow and red striped T-shirt looked all too familiar. We then all jumped into combat, I did my Elvis pose, ready to battle. They all came on me at once. I unleashed a whole bunch of punches and kicks that seemed to be very effective. I got kicked around a few times but I never gave up, I turned and then decided to rough up the striped T-shirt kid. I fish roe punched him in the face and then jumped on top of him. Unleashing an almost never-ending flurry of punches and kicks, I then heard one of the kid's friends, a pink haired boy... or was it a girl...? Shout something. It was probably just gargles to the boy and the dog. But I could hear it nice and loudly, the voice said...

LUCAS!

I suddenly froze... It was the name... 'Friend... Lucas...' That word and that name immobilized me. I quickly realized that my friend, the one I hadn't seen in 3 years, has come back to me. But there was one problem. He didn't know I was the Fish Roe Man. Lucas took advantage of my sudden freezing to kick me down to the floor and stamp on my body. He crushed all my eggs, leaving me in a critical condition. He then walked over to the box and opened it, he then took out the note and started to read it. If I remember correctly, the note went like this:

To whoever gets their hands on this note,

I just want to let you know that if you get your hands on this note, you have defeated me and are free to take the crown. However, if you read this note first I will be at peace knowing that somebody has read my story...

I wasn't always a fish pouch, I used to be a man. A man that had no friends or anything, not because he wasn't loved or ridiculed. But because he could never open himself up to anyone. That changed however when I met a small boy by the hot spring at Murasaki Forest. He was really nice and he became my first friend, his name was L-L-... I cannot remember, but he was a very good lad. We would then meet each other every day at the same spot and talk endlessly. We would talk about things that seem impossible to humans, things that could melt one's brain.

He was my one and only friend. And honestly, I had made the right choice in choosing my one friend. As I do not think anyone could replace the qualities this boy had. If the person who happens to have this note in this hand right now is this boy. Then thank you... Thank you for everything you have done to help me. Words cannot express my gratitude right now, but if you are here and reading this over my probably dead body... Then please, please say hello to me... I know I probably won't reply back but it'd be nice to just have you talk to me once more.

Goodbye, and good luck...

Fish Roe Man.

I used the last of my strength to lift my head to see the boy in tears. He ran over to my mangled body and kneeled down below me. "G-Go kid." I wheezed, barely grasping for life. "You have so much potential, you know that... Don't worry about me... at least you're here to see me through to the end... that's all I could ever want..." The child just kept bawling under mutters of "I'm sorry..." I shushed him while muttering "don't be... You've grown into a strong, young man. And I'm proud of you..." Lucas then started turning purple while grabbing his throat. "K-kid!" I shouted, but then grabbed my body that was falling apart in pain. "Y-you need air...! G-go! There's no saving me now..." Lucas reluctantly stood up, grabbed the crown and ran out of the cave with his friends, but not before turning around and saying "Goodbye... Friend..." I then saw God reaching out with his hand to me, I took it and I finally departed from earth... having no regrets...

"I will see you soon Lucas..."

"...My friend..."

The End...


End file.
